Age Before Stupidity/Transcript
Announcer: After years of sitting in my basement learning the art of con, I, Jason Debunk, present the iCovership. *All dialoge is Announcer *Black and white film of kid with a phone on a sidewalk* Need a ride home? It's a car! *Phone turns into a car with a ding* Kid: WHOA! Need a cool skateboard but don't want to touch the ground? *Black and white film of kid hold skateboard standing on a bench cowaring at the ground* It's a hoverboard! *Ding sound and skateboard becomes hoverboard and kid jumps ontop* Need to escape the those pesky interdimensional alien overlords in outer space? It's a spaceship! *Crude film of cardboard spaceship flying away and hitting boomstick, causing it to fall* Man: AHH! *Falls over and film cuts* So buy it today! *Zooms out of TV* Klasky: I question who monitors what they put on infomercials. *Cuts to mayor watching cartoons* TV: Teenage Mutant Ninja Tur-! *Door opens and Mayor turns off TV* Man: Mayor, someone wants to air a commercial on Antmiveville TV. Mayor: Yeah, yeah, yeah. *Door Closes and TV turns back on* TV: Heroes in a half shell! *Cuts back to couch* Klasky: You wouldn't buy that, right Mark?....Mark? Mark: *Eyes widened, mouth agape drooling. Light shines behind him and heavenly chorus sings* This is the most awesomest thing ever... Klasky: *Pretending to use earpiece* Mission Control? We lost him. Mark: TO THE MONEY CAVE. *Mark and Klasky's head spin in a 60's Batman type transition* Mark: *Looks around dazed* Whoa...I feel like I did the same thing 5 minutes ago... *Mark opens drawer to find lint and a paperclip* Mark: Oh. *Cuts to parents faces* Mark: Pleeeeease? Mr. Miller: Sorry son, but we can't. Just sell one of the games from the shrine of gaming. Mark: Hng, gasp! How dare the? *Hugging door* These aren't just games...they're sacred... Mrs. Miller: Start a lemonade stand. *Cuts to stand on the curb outside a building that read "O'Hallen Mining Inc." Mark: Free lemonade! Free Lemonade! *Time Card: 4 Hours Later* Mark: Spare change? Spare change? Mark: Dang-it, every time I'm here I end up begging for cash. I'll get a job! *Cuts to restaurant* Man: You can't get a job. Mark: Why not? Man: You're too young. Nine-year olds can't get a job. Legally anyway. Mark: Well, I turn 10 tomorrow. Man: Still too young. Let me know when you're 14, kid. *Outside Restaurant, which reads "King in Wendy's Box"* Mark: Bloody Ale....I've got it! Age me to the age 14! Klasky: Mark, are you sure about this? Remember what I said about the Laws of Potion? Mark: Nope. Age me. Klasky: I'm not sure... Mark: I WISH YOU AGED ME TO 14. Klasky: *Blue light shines* Aw, here we go... *Magical blue spiral surrounds Mark* *Sequence of Mark growing taller and his body changing* Mark: Swe-*voice cracks and goes low*eeeeet? Mark: What happened? My lovable high voice is gone! Klasky: That's the cost of puberty. Mark: Did I g- N-never mind. Mark: Let's get a job! Man: Whoa! You really grew. Welcome to the crew. Mark: *At drive thru window* Sooo, when do I get paid? Man Ordering: Hi I'll have the "Death Wish" burger with some "Dry Fries" and a "Why are you eating this?" Special. Mark: Oh, sure. *Notices hand growing hair* Huh? *Mark runs into bathroom* Man Ordering: *Drives up to window* Hey, where my food! Mark: *Stares in mirror and sees beard grow* What the cowbell? Klasky: *Magical spiral poofs him inside* Can't say I didn't warn you. Mark: Oh man, oh man, *voice deepens even more* I'm a 40 year old man. Klasky: This is what you wanted. You wished you were aged to 14, but not when to stop. *Mark runs out of the bathroom and outside* Man: Hey! *Sends security after Mark* Mark: Maybe if I keep running, I'll *runs into cop and spills their coffee* Cop: ARRRRGH. *Pulls out gun and chases Mark while calling for back-up* *Cop cars and helicopter arrive chasing Mark, and on helicopter is firing a gatling gun* Mark: *Jumps over gunfire* What the heck?! Mark: *Runs into preschool and hits a kid* Oh, uhh, hi. Kid: AHH! *Daycare teachers chase him down* Mark: AHHH! *Timecard: 30 minutes later* Mark: Ah, a Gas Station! *Mark runs into the bathroom and locks the door* *Klasky appears with a magical spiral* Mark: *Slowly turning to an old man* Ahh! Please, undo it! Klasky: No. You need to learn your lesson. Mark: What? I am being chased by half the town and I'm aging to my death! What is there to learn? *People break down wall* Mob: Get him. Mark: AHHH! *Runs back over highway and back into town in a roadrunner fashion. Runs into his bedroom window* Mark: *Severely aging* Well, I'm gonna die an old, run out old man in a child's room. If only I was my regular age again. *Closes eyes* Mark: *Zooms in on closed eyes and zoomed out to find Mark in his bed* Mark: Huh? Parents: Mark! Wake up! Mark: *Looks at clock* Wait, you saved me, or am I dead? Klasky: Oh, you could control the aging the whole time. Your brain just felt something missing due to the lack of something going wrong. Mark: What? I hate my brain. *Mark enters the living room to see a present* Parents: Happy Birthday! Mark: *Opens it and finds the iCovership* Mark: YES. *Mark presses the on button and it explodes in his face* Mark: *Face covered in sot* *Blinks twice* Category:Episode Transcripts